Northwest Trek

The Stories of a Life Lived in the Northwest

Faith

Events that have influenced our spiritual walk.

Ramblings of an Elderly Outdoorsman

Posted by admin On December - 23 - 20111 COMMENT


For the second straight year, Field & Stream has partnered with Trout Unlimited on tours of America’s Best Wild Places. The Best Wild Places is a joint project and offers a unique look at some of the country’s best hunting and fishing destinations, as well as the challenges these amazing places face if they are to remain intact and functional for years to come.

Since my youth wild, untamed places of solitude and beauty have occupied a special niche in my heart. I have been pleased to put footprints on many such unspoiled places from the Arctic to Mexico, but I’ll be departing soon to a place that has been prepared for me, an inheritance, perhaps a wild place. Though I have yet to cross some, as yet, unmapped future terrain; a fearsome topography known by some as the golden years. I wonder what fool coined those words. Having observed those cherished ones that have journeyed through the “golden years” they didn’t look all that golden; a difficult path in all likelihood, but paradise at the end for me. The belief I have acquired, over now what seems an insufficient time, is that I’ll arrive in the afterlife unbroken. From broken to unbroken in the blink of an eye, it stuns the imagination. But, I have always loved adventure and this could be the greatest one of all.

For now, on cold winter days I sit by the fire content to read a book or talk with the woman who has together shared all the decades of my adulthood. Of late we have achieved a transparency that the stresses, temptations and uncertainties of our earlier years interfered with. These golden years may yet yield a fine harvest. On sunny summer days I forsake the porch for a trail or a reach of river, and read the water aided with fathoms of fly line.

Long ago, when we dreamed our home into being, we oriented the side of the house comprised chiefly of glass to aim east toward the Columbia River, and the far plains of Eastern Oregon. From our hill top it was a vast, wide vista. The River, the valley, the desert extended beyond the limits of our vision.

The River, once a passageway for the Chinookan, Wascoes and Paiute people, now hosts barges that plow snow melt from five states and a Province. Wind surfers like alien insects drift across the wind driven waves. Salmon and Steelhead still travel up the lower reaches of the dam choked thing. I’ve spent the better part of my years living on the banks of it. No longer measured by flow alone, but by mega watts, bushels, and acres irrigated…added up it is a staggering sum. Equal to but different than the original. Still it is a mighty river.

Once it was a wild thing that seasonally roared and rammed its way to the blue Pacific. It carried creatures from the salty brine deep into the continent where its clean, pure water flowed across granite cobbles; the birth place of Chinook, the king of Salmon. Prehistoric Sturgeon still traveled along the river’s bed up and across the 49th Parallel long before that boundary held any meaning. The River went on and on always different and yet the same. It would have made me want to travel up its twisted shore to discover every cove and trib, to encounter the people that might greet me that dwelt on its shore, to see the landscape forged by fire and ice and decorated by the consequence of rain and drought, to traverse the mountain gash, a place of legend, that could not defeat its last unstoppable rush to the sea.

If I could walk back in time to stand on the banks of this wild, untamed, and unfettered version of the River I love, I’d do it in a New York minute, whatever in the world that is.

Perhaps the place in which my inheritance awaits me is on the far shore of that wild Columbia?

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Being able to look back on the events and choices that shaped the course of my life has allowed me to gain, at least, a flicker of understanding about how I am where I am. I want to tell you how the most important event that ever happened to me came to pass………

I’m not naturally an introspective person. As a result I was not much in touch with some of the internal, unknown desires that had been building over the course of my early life. My list of goals was driven by my wants more than what I really needed. I was literally blind to the difference.

Satisfaction and fulfillment were now guaranteed! The final item on my list designed to satisfy all my goals was being achieved! Career, family, job and now last on the list – the location. Alaska was to be our new home complete with an unbelievable new position. As an obsessed outdoors man there was no better place on the planet to live and work than my new assignment. I was the new head Snow Ranger on the Chugach National Forest in south central Alaska, headquartered in Anchorage.

Chugach Range From Our House


I was orphaned as a boy of eleven. My home had been a loving, secure environment in which I was free to conquer my little boy world. My folks were poor so my biggest concern was how to earn enough to finance the next box of .22 shells ($.50) and maybe a movie ($.25).

The next seven years were a real world learning experience. Absent was the security and love that I had experienced and taken for granted in my early youth.
The day after high school graduation I was heading to a logging job in the Idaho Panhandle. Seven years before I had left my boyhood with only a suitcase of clothes so it was now except, in addition, I had a train ticket, twenty-four dollars and a high school diploma. I had also learned to be self-sufficient and in control. Being alone and a loner had demonstrated that I could only count on myself. It was a belief that I would cling to for many years.

Just prior to high school graduation I had briefly dated a beautiful gal two years my junior who was to haunt my thoughts over the next couple years as I bounced from job to job, place to place and girl to girl. It was during this time that I began to build a list of the things I believed I wanted in my life in order to experience real happiness and contentment. A job took me back to the vicinity of my old high school and to, Lynn, the girl who I had not been able to forget. I had just finished my first year of a four year hitch in the US Navy when we were married. We celebrated our 46th anniversary last fall.

Just as I was finishing up with my Navy enlistment I decided to study forestry rather than continue with a career in aviation. My love of the outdoors had trumped urban living and working in an industrial setting. This was next on my list – a career in forestry. Closely attached to this was living in a place that provided a job in my chosen field and a location that provided quality hunting and fishing opportunities.

So here I was, my list was finished; school completed, a wife I adored, two little boys that were a pure delight, a great career, in the perfect place. Life was going to be great from here on out. The empty, unfilled place in my heart was going to be a thing of the past.

75 mm Recoiless Rifle


Three years later I had learned that life in Alaska was all and more than I could have hoped for. My family was thriving, the job was incredible, but the fulfillment and contentment that I believed would come was still absent. Lynn was experiencing the same thing even though our lives were great. I began to wonder if this was as good as it was ever going to be.

Lynn began to attend a ladies bible study with some other Forest Service wives. A few months later she told me after attending one of these studies that she had accepted Jesus as her Savior. I told her that was great and I hoped it would work out for her, not knowing how to respond to this announcement in a more useful way. My wife is an amazing woman and I had always been happy with her as she was, but she began to change in ways that I couldn’t quantify. She was happier, more loving, she seemed content, at peace. I could not account for the differences that I was observing. Then one day she revealed that it was because of having a relationship with Jesus that was transforming her from the inside out.

About six months later as I come through the door one afternoon she ordered me to sit down at the dining room table. I could tell that something had made her really intense and that she was going to tell me something she thought was very important. With no preamble she told me that I was a sinner and that my sin separated me from God. That in spite of being self-sufficient I could not fix my sin problem, but that Jesus had taken care of it. His death on the cross paid for my sin and made it possible to have a relationship with God the Father. She said that the Bible taught that forgiveness and eternal life were a free gift and that I could accept that free gift by turning from my sin and accepting Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. Looking back, this was one of the most unique moments of our marriage.

I had heard the Gospel presented before, but it had never made sense to me. Sitting there in our dining room with my life mate, someone who loved me with all her heart, sharing this simple message I GOT IT! A few days later while I was driving the Seward/Anchorage highway along Turnagain Arm I asked Jesus to forgive me for my sin and to take control of my life and do for me what He had done in my wife’s heart.

From that day to this that empty place in my heart, no earthly thing could fill or satisfy, has been filled with Jesus Christ. He gave me everything I thought I needed in order to show me none of it was the answer for which I had been looking. He was able to see into the depths of my being and know what was necessary for me to finally one day comprehend who He is and what He has done and is doing for me.

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